She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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