My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
