Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
