just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
