Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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