I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
