Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
