so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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