Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
