There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
