After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
