Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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