just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
