i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Couch. On fire.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
