I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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