Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
