ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
