Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
