he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can't special order awesome
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
