Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have fence marks all over my body
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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