worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
