do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
