hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
