hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
