I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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