maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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