she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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