I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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