True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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