omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize