haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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