I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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