Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
