Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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