They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
