I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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