She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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