I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize