If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You took a bar mat shot.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
