i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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