It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
