Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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