Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
