but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
