D3 body, D1 cock
Soap is not a condiment
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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