No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
