I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
