Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
