I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
