Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
