Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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