we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
