recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
