Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
