omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
