I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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