I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
they need to just BURY HIM!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
