my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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