So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
