whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
