I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
