Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
