i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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