oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
