I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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