i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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