I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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