You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
