Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
