i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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