Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
