whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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