i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
