So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
