Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
