Christians are straight up FREAKS
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
