so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
