Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we're making bets on your personal life
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
