I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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